It happens every year. One minute I'm downing pale pink wine in a garden, feeling my oats, and the next thing I know I'm sleeping in socks and being woken up by street fireworks.
The explosive displays can only mean that Halloween is here again. Normally I am not that enthusiastic about this Americana holiday, however, given how ghastly the last few weeks have been, I'm all for donning a mask and pretending to be someone else for a few hours.
Here are some of my current front runners for some last minute budget friendly costumes:
An obvious one but surely about to become a classic:
The Liz Truss Lettuce.
All you need is some green face paint, blonde hair, a Union flag, a Greggs sausage roll and no shame.
Or if you want something truly terrifying, what about this winter's gas bill?
You'll need 2 large pieces of cardboard, some marker pens and 2 bits of ribbon. Scary, but fully recyclable.
For a low maintenance group costume what about cultural phenomenon: The Queue.
You can wear whatever you like, although Kipper & Chalk encourages winter coats, a thermos of tea and a sombre look (heaven forbid anyone enjoy the Q too much, it was a time of mourning!), but you'll need some pals. Then you all stand one behind the other, snaking around the party. The key to this costume is the group part. Should you lose your fellow Queuers over the course of the night you might find yourself handing out cups of tea and over-explaining the concept.
Bonus points for a Holly and Phil to push in front.
Do you have access to an old white t-shirt, a black felt tip pen and some fake blood? Then you can personalise this one to whichever loss you feel most deeply:
Death of Democracy
Death of Satire
Death of Women's Reproductive Rights
Death of a Salesman
Or if you are looking for something a little more apolitical, can I suggest my personal favourite:
A Devilled Egg.