It's the scariest time of year - there is so much polyester around that my hair has been standing on end for 3 days. If you want to avoid buying a single-use plastic halloween costume, here are a few ideas which you might be able to rustle up without buying anything new:
1. Pop Culture Costume: Tailor Swift
Love her or hate her, this loved-up Pop Princess has been hard to avoid over the last couple of years. From sell-out tours to smashing download records, she has been mostly seen decked out in sequins and tassels. But fear not, this costume is way more low-key than that. All you will need is a tape measure (Taylor/Tailor) and a pair of running shoes to show how Swift you are. Friendship bracelets are optional.
2. The Sartorial Costume: Patrick Bateman
Ideally this will involve a striped shirt, pinstripe suit and navy braces. But any dark suit will do as long as you adopt an air of superiority and clutch a blood stained* business card. Bonus points for fashioning an axe out of cereal boxes. Go ahead and make Blue Peter proud.
*We don't recommend actual blood. Ketchup will suffice.
3. The Scary Costume: Your local MP
Let's face it, there's little scarier than the ogres of Westminster. For this look, you will need a paper rosette which can be made from loo roll and sellotape, a bad suit and a sweaty look as you say "Well I think you'll find I've already answered that question, Robert" - your host just asked if you'd like a drink but whatever. Bonus points for bags of dodgy cash from shady lobbyists spilling out of pockets.
4. The High Fashion Costume: The Bride of Bezos
For the theatrical amongst us: I'm sure we all know someone who laments only being able to wear their wedding dress once. Well, Lauren Sanchez has given you the ideal excuse to don your nuptials outfit once more. For added authenticity we suggest performing a few facial reconstructions using sellotape and plasticine. Morals optional.
5. The Lazy Costume: Withnail
All you need for this is a long overcoat, some bedhead and a terrible night's sleep. Which if you are keeping up with the news won't be hard.
The night before the party, put on your largest coat -> lie in bed -> doom scroll the BBC news website for 6 hours and then lie awake in horror while you try to digest the number of atrocities facing the world today. You should look exactly like Richard E Grant in time for the fiesta.
